The last one is just a picture I love so much. If you can't read it, it says: "The movie 'Missing' could not be used because the original file could not be found. Would you like to locate it?" This picture and others cheer me up a lot (: i'll post a different one every day. The pictures above are from Wisconsin. One is of me, the other is of a pretty twilight i couldn't resist taking a picture of because it makes me think of God and how wonderful He is!
Ok, lets start with an introduction? I'm Abigail, i'm fourteen, and I have many interests but few hobbies. I play piano, have been for seven years, I am a big writer, I have been since third grade, and I babysit a lot. I'm great with kids because i have 25 cousins who are all around six or younger, my youngest cousin being barely a year old. One thing I feel the need to mention because i'll most likely talk about a lot, is that I am recovering from anorexia. You'll slowly realize throughout my posts that it really has hurt my life. I'm also developing insomnia.My book (Dancing in the Rain) In case you want to read it!
I love God. He's the only way i make it through stressful freshman year of high school, this eating disorder, and my slow development of insomnia. Without Him i would've never seen a reason to recover from this. My favorite verse is: "Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7. Another favorite is "Through God i can crush any army. With Him I can scale any wall." -Psalm 18:29 I have many loved verses, forty-two of which are written inside my closet to remind me every time i wake up and go to bed.
I'm a thinker. My slow development of insomnia allows a lot of time to think about questions i have or wonder about. When I first began struggling with sleep, I had so many questions I had to ask my friends some of them before i exploded! I wrote them all down, and counted 175 life-thinking questions. My favorite five are:
1. Is something worth saving if you never spend it?
2. What memory would you never get rid of?
3. What would your "priceless" commercial consist of? (The Mastercard slogan?)
4. What item will you never want?
5. (For those who are not Christians) How do you decide what is right and wrong?
Ha ha those are just a few(: Other random information about me: I love alternative music people might consider weird: Regina Spektor? I also enjoy Snow Patrol, Tenth Avenue North, Casting Crowns, and Owl City. Their songs always make me think hard about things. My favorite color is definitely lime green like fresh grass. I love to make new friends (hint hint message me or comment on this). I love diet pepsi with a passion! I was going to be a twin but then they died.
I've written 8 books so far. None are published, i haven't built the confidence to submit them though. My most recent book is the title of my blog: Dancing in the Rain. It's about a girl dealing with cancer but with that, a new relationship, family problems, and self-discoveries. It might sound cliche but I'm really proud of the progress i've made with it. I'm on my third draft of it which means after the fourth one i won't mess with it any more.
OK, now for my actual blog:
Today was tough. One of my friends ate 5 slices of cucumber and 2 carrots. She's never not eaten before but I can tell she doesn't want food anymore. As someone with anorexia, it's tough to watch that. I dragged her to the cafeteria to make her get something (i offered to pay) but she almost threw a fit. None of my friends know about my eating disorder, nor do my parents. Only some online buddies who really know how to support me.
Because of my sleep problems, i haven't yet discovered how to handle the sleep deprivation (spelling?). In science I was teased by my friends for asking stupid questions but i'm seriously lost because i'm zoning out constantly and always self-conscious that my answers are incorrect. That was no fun.
Yesterday I ate 530 calories but burned 450 off so i was really at around 80 calories which was way too low, even for me. Today i've had around 860 and the bad thoughts keep coming back telling me i should be like the friend i saw at lunch. Why can't i bring myself to go to the cafeteria and just get something because i want it?
I'm in the questions mood again...
That will be all tonight. My blog is still developing it's personality and style, so this is just my plain blog. :) thanks for reading!
-Me
I'm so glad you made a blog!(: There's so many supporters out here for you, people to give you advice and stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sorry to hear about your friend/: I was like that eating dinner tonight.. (i'll tell you more later) the best thing to do is not get mad at her. It really sounds like she's listening to the ED a lot. Maybe sit down and have a talk with her? It's hard to just try to get her to eat something, because the ED probably doesn't want her to.